Relationships: A Mess Worth Making

"I had such high hopes for our relationship. What went wrong? I thought I had finally found someone I could trust."

"Why does it always go here? We can't even have a discussion about the weather without it ending in an accusation."

Ever heard these, or maybe even said something like them? Relationships and trouble usually go hand in hand, but is that what God intended? Or did God intend for relationships to be a great gift that teach us and constantly refine us?

As we enter March, OSBC youth is starting a new series. The series is called Relationships: A Mess Worth Making. It is based of two books; A book by Tim Lane and Paul Trip called Relationships: A Mess Worth Making (see or buy the book here...) and the Holy Scriptures. The book gave me the ideas but the Scriptures gives the truth to back all of its claims. God is the perfect example of true relationship. He Himself is in constant community, relationship, with the Son and Spirit. Because we are made in God's image, we are made to be in relationships. But as we all know relationships are hard. They usually frustrate us and can sometimes lead us to be bitter against the people we love most. The people that bring us the most joy can most often frustrate us the most. In this series we are aiming to locate the scriptures that tell us what is to be found in our relationships.

Tonight's message (first of 4) was about the three things that should be found in any relationship.

First, Colossians 3:12-14 says " ¹² Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, ¹³accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. ¹⁴ Above all, put on love—the perfect bond of unity. " FORGIVENESS: really easy to talk about, ten times harder to put into action. This verse is so key to us understanding what forgiveness means in our relationships. To understand the point better we looked at Jesus' parable in Matthew 18:21-35 where one man is forgiven for a 100,000 debt but refuses to forgive a debt of 10 dollars to another man. This parable is gold b Jesus to answer Peters question on how often to forgive. After Jesus answers "seventy times seven", He goes on to tell this parable. When I read the parable preparing for this series I was heavily convicted. Who are we as Christians to refuse forgiveness to others? Christ paid the ultimate price for our forgiveness. We are in turn to forgive because Christ first forgave us! If this was implamented in each and every one of our relationships, think how different our youth group, church, and world would be!

Second, we talked about unity. You might say, what does this have to do with relationships. I took the idea from the end of Colossians 3:14, "the perfect bond of unity." Who are we to unify with in relationships. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says "¹⁴ Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?" Does this mean all relationships with those who are unsaved is bad? Can we be around the world? This is a tough verse! The King James uses a word that helps us to understand this verse. It says "do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers." This yoke is a farming tool used to hold two oxen together. The idea that scripture is giving here is that believers should not be in a place where an unbeliever can begin to guide them in a direction away from what God wills and desires for us. The beauty about christian relationships is that neither person has to guide the other. Its not a two person yoke because Christ is in the center of that relationship. By pursuing Christ we will inevitably forfeit the reigns of all our relationships to His leading. That's a weight off the back, huh? We cannot do it on our own! Which leads to the last point...

Lastly, we talked about hope. The scripture I used for this is found in Galatians 2:20. "²⁰ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body,^[a] I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Colossians 3 and this verse have to work together. Colossians 3 seems to be filled with impossible tasks of the christians, but then Galatians 2 puts it all in context for me. Those things, like patience, kindness, and forgiveness are not possible unless we die to ourselves and Christ lives through us. Imagine if Christ had control over all our actions for a day. Would that radically change how we reacted to people? I think so! We have to realize that we cannot do this on our own. The only way our relationships are going to be Christ-Like and God-honoring is if we die to ourselves and let Christ live through us. This is the great hope we have. This hope binds christians together and allows us to keep going through the tough times. Also, in the relationships we have with those who are unsaved this hope will be something that draws them to Christ. If we die to ourselves and let Christ live through us, this hope we hold will draw them to Christ. What a great hope we have! This hope allows us to see all of our relationships in a new way! 

In the next three weeks we are going to looking at different relationships and friendships in the Bible. My goal is to see our relationships radically change, and God be glorified through it. We have a great gift in relationships, and God wants them to be holy, Christ-Like, and redemptive. 

-John Snavely